“Talking” “Dating” “Courting”

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I have said it once and I’ll continue to say it, I just don’t belong to this generation. More specifically when it comes to romance. I question it over and over, what happened to romance? Sappy, soppy longhand love letters. What happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in movies? I want that boom box over your head, ride off on a lawnmower, waiting for me outside of a church type of love (if you know ANY of these references, you’re a real one and I appreciate your impeccable taste). 

Guys don’t ask girls out anymore, period. Everything is virtual or through social media or over the phone; and not even talk, but through text. What happened to asking someone on a date instead of to “hang out”? Why have we accepted and diminished these terms? Accepting and lowering our standards, making it ok for guys, or anyone for that matter, to treat us that way?

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I die for all of that lovey dovey stuff. I think it’s cute when a guy gets nervous around you or when he has the guts to ask you on a date to your face. In a way, it’s also brave. There you are putting it out there and on the line, where you could possibly get turned down, but what if that’s what she was waiting for?

Likewise, as a girl why wouldn’t I show a guy I’m interested? Why do we play the game? Or even better, why can’t we just be honest and upfront in the beginning about what our intentions are? If you want to mess around, just say that. If you want a relationship, then just say that. And if you don’t know if you’re here or there, again JUST SAY THAT. Why are we so afraid to say what we really want? We all have one life and it shouldn’t be wasted on anything less than what we are looking for.

Furthermore, maybe I’m speaking for myself here, but it’s nice vice versa as a girl to show a guy your interest. Maybe you take the time to listen to what he’s passionate about, or letting him know the little things you appreciate or find attractive about him, maybe something that makes him stand out to you. Perhaps it’s surprising him with his favorite coffee/snack or checking in throughout the day. Love looks different to different people, but one thing stands true: you HAVE to read and know your crowd. 

What I mean is, if your partner’s love language is quality time then make the time for them. For example, (I’m not saying when you have free time, but that you MAKE time) take time to listen to how their day went, initiate the call or the date & ask how they’re feeling. No interruptions, no phones, just the two of you enjoying each other’s company. On the other hand, they might be someone that their love language is words of affirmation. There you can reassure them and tell them how much they mean to you (and there’s so so so many different ways you can do this). But again, you have to know your person.

It’s not “simping”. It’s caring. It’s appreciation. It’s being supportive. It’s LOVE. So below I’m going to list a few things that are almost extinct in the romance department in this age that we should HIGHLY consider on bringing back.

  1. Asking the person on a DATE
    • As mentioned before, the term date has almost vanished and in comes the term “hang out”. If you are genuinely interested in getting to know a person, ask that person out on a date! Likewise, asking someone to come to your house/apartment or whatever is not romantic and shows no effort (and if you ask me, sends the wrong message too).
  2. Picking someone up at the front door
    • Nowadays, we can all say that we’ve gotten that “I’m outside” text and this also screams unromantic in so many ways. It seems lazy and insensitive because there was a time where you would get out of your car and ring the door bell to pick up your date. It adds to the butterflies and guarantees that your date will start on the right foot.
  3. Bringing flowers
    • Yes, people used to do this even on the very first date. This one may have become extinct because it may send the wrong message, but of course if the intentions are clear why would there be an issue? Receiving flowers is always a nice gesture, and will for sure hit them in the feels.
  4. Calling, not texting
    • I’m a personal fan of this one right here. I’d prefer talking over the phone any day than texting. Especially now that we have FaceTime. It beats sitting there having to wait for a reply to “Hey” or “What’s up?”. And plus, the conversation can just flow. You can hit 2 hours in no time when you’re enjoying the conversation with someone. And you can’t take away that you can actually know how a person meant something instead of assuming like we do through text.
  5. Pulling the chair out, holding the door
    • This hits home. I know I can grab my own chair and I can hold my own doors. But there is just something about being a gentleman, that this should come second nature. This is manners and etiquette and will get you points.

These are just a few things to say the least and I’m sure I can go on and on but this is just some food for thought. Let me know what you guys think or maybe some things that you want to add to the list. I’m more than open to having a discussion about this.

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Monique S.

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