Author: Monique Sanchez

“Talking” “Courting” “Dating” Part Dos

| Monique Sanchez

As a continuation of my last post in May, here I am to continue writing on a topic I hold near and dear to my heart. I apologize that it has taken me so long to follow up, but as you all may (hopefully) know and are aware COVID-19 has taken a real toll, and since my last post I have been so exhausted from work and self-work on myself, I neglected the blog. I also had a lot of personal life changes that took me away from this but nonetheless, I am back and better!

So, I decided to make this into a series because I received a bunch of feedback on this particular blog topic. I got suggestions such as going more into love languages, adding more on the list of things that are basically extinct in dating, my personal experience or what I’m looking for right now, what’s my relationship status currently, tips on dating, what are good date ideas… The recommendations go on and on. With that said, I decided to make this into a series of blog posts and discuss more on this topic.

First things first. I like to be as honest and transparent as possible, so readers, the cat is out of the bag. I am sure many have already assumed, but I’m here to set things straight. Yes, I am currently single. Now, if I am dating anyone currently is something I prefer to keep private because there’s only so much a lady tells. (And yes, you read that correctly dating, not “talking”.)

Now that that is clarified, we can move on to discuss the blog post at hand. That being said, let’s dive back in. Back in May/June – ish I asked those on my IG to answer some poll questions I genuinely wanted people’s opinions on. I came up with the list of questions myself (with a little help from a friend) and was intrigued and quite honestly surprised with the results. I am going to be putting the questions up and the results, along with as promised my personal take. So, let’s get into it:

  1. Is there a difference between “talking” and “dating”?
    • 88% of you say YAY meaning yes there is a difference and 12% said NAY.
    • Now, I am going to have to agree with the 88% of you and say there is without a shadow of doubt a 100%, no 1000%, difference between the two terms. I honestly despise that the word “talking” exists, when it comes to relationships/dating due to this generation, because dating is literally what people are doing. Getting to know someone, going out on dates, seeing if you are truly interested or not. Merriam Webster defines it as “to make a usually romantic social arrangement to meet with”. Exactly. Talking is communication. I can talk to anyone and everyone, but I do not DATE anyone and everyone. So if 88% of you agree, why is it that we still use this terminology?
  2. Is exclusivity during the “talking” stage a norm?
    • 58% of you say YAY meaning yes it is normal to make yourselves “exclusive” in a talking stage while 42% of you said NAY.
    • I genuinely do not believe in this “talking” stage, that is just me personally. Nowadays it seems as though we avoid labeling things for the fear of complicating something, yet fail to realize not knowing where you stand with someone is all the more complicating. Can you be exclusive when dating, I mean I guess so. You’re focusing that you both want to get to know ONLY each other but then again it makes things a tad messier in hindsight. It’s as though you still want to continue to test drive this, but without looking for other options. It’s weird, ngl.
  3. Do you “talk” or “date” more than one person at a time?
    • 24% of you say YAY and 76% of you say NAY as in you do not talk or date more than one person at a time.
    • Are we realizing how complicated this sounds right now? The whole point of dating someone is to get to know them without the commitment of a relationship. I could go on dates with multiple men until I have made my intentions clear on whom I decide to commit myself to. I have to go with the minority here. (Perfect reason why “talking” needs to be abolished in the relationship world).
  4. Is “simping” a bad thing?
    • 19% of you said YAY and 81% of you said NAY.
    • LOL. Ah another word I despise in this generation. Simping is just another generational term for caring. Urban dictionary literally defines simping as “someone who does WAY too much for someone they like”. FYI, I hate it here. Since when is it a bad thing to care and show the person you like or care about just that? I mean I’m glad 81% of you can agree with me but that 19%… who hurt you? That’s what love is all about, showing someone in more ways than one that you care, that they cross your mind (sometimes more than you care to admit), that out of all the people in the world you’re glad they chose you. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I live for that sappy stuff. Don’t just tell me, SHOW ME.
  5. Lastly, I asked couples in particular how did they know they found “the one”?
    • This was a fill in the blank, but the majority said it was just a feeling. A feeling that is so deeply rooted you could only know once you’ve felt it.
    • I personally cannot contribute to this because I’m not at the point currently, but what I can share with you all is my viewpoint of “the one”.
    • Since I was a little girl I grew up watching disney fairytales and happy endings. The princess getting the prince at the end, falling in love, and living happily ever after. Although I have grown up since then I still have a string of hope to find my prince charming. The only difference I can say I have now towards this is that I do not believe in “the one”. At least, not in the way we all think of when someone says that.
    • I do believe there is only one, and that happens to be the man above in whom I put my faith in. As I have been growing into my faith, I’ve realized that the only person that could ever fill those holes and that emptiness in me is not another human being, it’s God. When it comes to love, I have a firm belief that that is a choice we decide to make. Day in and day out. You get to choose who you love, everyday, flaws and all. That is something realistic to look forward to. Life is not some fairytale and it definitely is not perfect, neither are you or the person you’re going to be with. Only God is perfect. What I can say is, how riveting is it that you get to choose someone to share your life with, to grow with, to build a home with, to make everlasting memories with, to love and cherish? That sounds exceptional, if you ask me. Someone I can build my life with, wow. That although you are on separate paths, they could merge together for a bigger and better purpose in life.

Readers, this is just a snippet inside my brain and my personal opinion on these topics. What should I talk about next? Hmm… I’ll be posting some polls on IG, so let’s wait and find out! Until the next one, thank you all so much for waiting patiently for the next blog! Promise I won’t take as much time to get to the next one like this one!

Xo,

Monique S.

“Talking” “Dating” “Courting”

| Monique Sanchez
beastly movie gifs | WiffleGif

I have said it once and I’ll continue to say it, I just don’t belong to this generation. More specifically when it comes to romance. I question it over and over, what happened to romance? Sappy, soppy longhand love letters. What happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in movies? I want that boom box over your head, ride off on a lawnmower, waiting for me outside of a church type of love (if you know ANY of these references, you’re a real one and I appreciate your impeccable taste). 

Guys don’t ask girls out anymore, period. Everything is virtual or through social media or over the phone; and not even talk, but through text. What happened to asking someone on a date instead of to “hang out”? Why have we accepted and diminished these terms? Accepting and lowering our standards, making it ok for guys, or anyone for that matter, to treat us that way?

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I die for all of that lovey dovey stuff. I think it’s cute when a guy gets nervous around you or when he has the guts to ask you on a date to your face. In a way, it’s also brave. There you are putting it out there and on the line, where you could possibly get turned down, but what if that’s what she was waiting for?

Likewise, as a girl why wouldn’t I show a guy I’m interested? Why do we play the game? Or even better, why can’t we just be honest and upfront in the beginning about what our intentions are? If you want to mess around, just say that. If you want a relationship, then just say that. And if you don’t know if you’re here or there, again JUST SAY THAT. Why are we so afraid to say what we really want? We all have one life and it shouldn’t be wasted on anything less than what we are looking for.

Furthermore, maybe I’m speaking for myself here, but it’s nice vice versa as a girl to show a guy your interest. Maybe you take the time to listen to what he’s passionate about, or letting him know the little things you appreciate or find attractive about him, maybe something that makes him stand out to you. Perhaps it’s surprising him with his favorite coffee/snack or checking in throughout the day. Love looks different to different people, but one thing stands true: you HAVE to read and know your crowd. 

What I mean is, if your partner’s love language is quality time then make the time for them. For example, (I’m not saying when you have free time, but that you MAKE time) take time to listen to how their day went, initiate the call or the date & ask how they’re feeling. No interruptions, no phones, just the two of you enjoying each other’s company. On the other hand, they might be someone that their love language is words of affirmation. There you can reassure them and tell them how much they mean to you (and there’s so so so many different ways you can do this). But again, you have to know your person.

It’s not “simping”. It’s caring. It’s appreciation. It’s being supportive. It’s LOVE. So below I’m going to list a few things that are almost extinct in the romance department in this age that we should HIGHLY consider on bringing back.

  1. Asking the person on a DATE
    • As mentioned before, the term date has almost vanished and in comes the term “hang out”. If you are genuinely interested in getting to know a person, ask that person out on a date! Likewise, asking someone to come to your house/apartment or whatever is not romantic and shows no effort (and if you ask me, sends the wrong message too).
  2. Picking someone up at the front door
    • Nowadays, we can all say that we’ve gotten that “I’m outside” text and this also screams unromantic in so many ways. It seems lazy and insensitive because there was a time where you would get out of your car and ring the door bell to pick up your date. It adds to the butterflies and guarantees that your date will start on the right foot.
  3. Bringing flowers
    • Yes, people used to do this even on the very first date. This one may have become extinct because it may send the wrong message, but of course if the intentions are clear why would there be an issue? Receiving flowers is always a nice gesture, and will for sure hit them in the feels.
  4. Calling, not texting
    • I’m a personal fan of this one right here. I’d prefer talking over the phone any day than texting. Especially now that we have FaceTime. It beats sitting there having to wait for a reply to “Hey” or “What’s up?”. And plus, the conversation can just flow. You can hit 2 hours in no time when you’re enjoying the conversation with someone. And you can’t take away that you can actually know how a person meant something instead of assuming like we do through text.
  5. Pulling the chair out, holding the door
    • This hits home. I know I can grab my own chair and I can hold my own doors. But there is just something about being a gentleman, that this should come second nature. This is manners and etiquette and will get you points.

These are just a few things to say the least and I’m sure I can go on and on but this is just some food for thought. Let me know what you guys think or maybe some things that you want to add to the list. I’m more than open to having a discussion about this.

Thanks for keeping up!! Subscribe to receive more!!

xo,

Monique S.

Be Mine: Valentine’s Day Gift Guide

| Monique Sanchez

My absolute favorite holiday of the year is here! I know, cheesy. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the other holidays too, but there’s just something about Valentine’s Day that makes me warm inside. With or without a romantic relationship I have always loved the pinks and the reds, and let’s not forget that EVERYTHING is heart shaped. I’m obsessed to say the least. No matter your relationship status, everyone can celebrate v-day! (Yes, I’m so serious). There is even a designated for the girls!! Galentine’s, duh. So let’s get started with the different gift guides.

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Her

From Left to Right (Top Row to Bottom Row) 1. https://www.tiffany.com/jewelry/bracelets/return-to-tiffany-bead-bracelet-GRP10189/ 2. https://www.uncommongoods.com/product/100-dates-scratch-off-poster 3. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/were-not-really-strangers-card-game?category=SAYTPRODUCT&color=060&type=REGULAR&size=ONE%20SIZE&quantity=1 4. https://www.uncommongoods.com/product/date-night-bucket-list 5. shop small and local for this! 6. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/fujifilm-mini-link-smartphone-printer?category=SEARCHRESULTS&color=066&searchparams=q%3Dprinter&type=REGULAR&size=ONE%20SIZE&quantity=1 7. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/lovebox-messenger?category=SEARCHRESULTS&color=014&searchparams=q%3Dlovebox&type=REGULAR&size=ONE%20SIZE&quantity=1 8. https://www.uncommongoods.com/product/create-your-own-reel-viewer 9. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/crosley-voyager-bluetooth-record-player?category=wishlist&color=065&size=ONE%20SIZE&type=REGULAR&quantity=1

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for the Girls (Galentine’s)

From Left to Right (Top Row to Bottom Row) 1. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/lip-smacker-liquid-lip-gloss-friendship-party-pack?category=wishlist&color=095&size=ONE%20SIZE&type=REGULAR&quantity=1 2. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/for-the-girls-party-game?category=SAYTPRODUCT&color=001&type=REGULAR&size=ONE%20SIZE&quantity=1 3. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/hearts-mini-waffle-maker?category=wishlist&quantity=1 4. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/nadja-for-deny-floral-phases-of-the-moon-yoga-mat?category=wishlist&color=012&size=ONE%20SIZE&type=REGULAR&quantity=1 5. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/the-astrology-of-you-and-me-how-to-understand-improve-every-relationship-by-gary-goldschneider?category=wishlist&color=000&size=ONE%20SIZE&type=REGULAR&quantity=1 6. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/mario-badescu-mini-must-haves-set-rose-edition?category=wishlist&color=000&size=ONE%20SIZE&type=REGULAR&quantity=1

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Him

From Left to Right (Top Row to Bottom Row) 1. https://www.nordstrom.com/s/nike-air-max-270-sneaker-men/4700645?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FGifts%2FValentine%27s%20Day&color=white%2F%20black 2. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/standard-cloth-stockton-tie-dye-hoodie-sweatshirt?category=hoodies-sweatshirts-for-men&color=023&type=REGULAR&quantity=1 3. https://www.nordstrom.com/s/john-varvatos-x-nick-jonas-jvxnj-fragrance/5021364?origin=coordinating-5021364-0-1-HP_FTR.HP_CUST_HIS_1-recbot-recently_viewed_snowplow_mvp&recs_placement=HP_FTR.HP_CUST_HIS_1&recs_strategy=recently_viewed_snowplow_mvp&recs_source=recbot&recs_page_type=home&recs_seed=0&color=NO%20COLOR 4. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/stanley-flask?category=SAYTPRODUCT&color=010&type=REGULAR&size=ONE%20SIZE&quantity=1 5. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/lets-get-deep-card-game?category=party-supplies-games&color=061&type=REGULAR&viewcode=b&size=ONE%20SIZE&quantity=1 6. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/uo-mini-tabletop-pool-game2?recommendation=dyrectray-OftenViewedWIth&color=034&type=REGULAR&size=ONE%20SIZE&quantity=1 7. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/cable-guys-star-wars-darth-vader-device-holder?category=party-supplies-games&color=001&type=REGULAR&viewcode=b&size=ONE%20SIZE&quantity=1 8. https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/cable-guys-star-wars-darth-vader-device-holder?category=party-supplies-games&color=001&type=REGULAR&viewcode=b&size=ONE%20SIZE&quantity=1https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/electronic-arcade-air-hockey-game?recommendation=dyrectray-OftenViewedWIth&color=095&type=REGULAR&size=ONE%20SIZE&quantity=1

Things to Do + Ways to Decorate

Aside from gift giving, you may be asking yourself “what can I do in regards to decorations or events?”. Well believe me, you have come to the right place because I have a bunch of ideas in mind!

  1. Decorations/Gifts ~ Play to their senses
    • This idea is more like a two for one. So you have both gift ideas and you have a cute setup for your S/O room, for example. Basically you have a total of 5 gifts, one for each of the senses: sight/see, touch, taste, hear, and smell. The set-up can look great in a room, perhaps on top of a bed, if not on a table followed by some cute decorations like balloons, confetti, etc. The fun and creative part is deciding what gift you’re going to get for the different senses!
  1. Event ~ Plan a picnic
    • This one is just a classic. It can include basically anything you two enjoy together and it also can be hosted anywhere. With COVID still being an issue, obviously exercise caution where this takes place, but this is something that can even be done at home! Other areas can be the park, the beach, even a drive-in movie. (Which speaking of, if you have a projector can be a great addition to either watching your fav movie together or TV series). Picnics are personal and tailored to each couple. They’ll definitely love this idea!

  1. Decorations ~ *My personal favorite* Balloons with your favorite pictures attached
    • Whether it be from the entire year since last or even for those new couples with a few snapshots. This just so happens to be my favorite because it really is the best of both worlds (in my opinion). I LOVE balloons and even more so if they have my favorite pictures of my boyfriend and I attached to them. I think it’s a very thoughtful, cute and affordable set up that anyone can do!

So! That reaches the end of my Valentine’s Day Gift Guides + Ideas. Feel free to reach out in either my social media handles or thru my email if you have any questions or comments. Thanks for coming.

Much love,

Monique S.

Why I Became A Nurse

Image | | Monique Sanchez

Since I can remember I always loved and was fascinated by the medical profession. My mom always found it strange that I loved being at the hospital so much. Oddly enough I always felt at home when I was there. I could never explain why I loved being there so much, but it was more of a feeling I had. A sense of belonging. And belonging to something that was so glamorous in my eyes. (Although it truly does not fall under the standards of “glamorous”).

I was exposed to this environment from a young age. Mostly because of my grandma, a few times with my mother and perhaps once for myself. Every time, without fail, I did not mind being there. I stared at all the healthcare workers in awe. The scrubs, the white coats, the stethoscopes hanging around their necks, the ostentatious terminology (as if they were speaking a completely different language). 

Besides the actual influence of having been in the environment, I knew that I would find my life to be more satisfying by giving back to a world that had/has given me so much. “The best way to find yourself, is to lose yourself in the service of others.” That quote by Gandhi, I feel, could not apply itself better than to the meaning and sole purpose of my life. Being a healthcare professional, to me, was a calling. It not only has felt satisfying, it also brings gratification to my soul. With everyone I meet and anyone that knows me knows that I feel beyond lucky and blessed that a passion and a career could merge as one.

Along the way of becoming a nurse I have to give credit to those who mentored me and served as an exceptional foundation and reassurance that I was where I needed to be. I have the nurses I met along the way throughout school to thank for that. Over 27 months I did clinical learning at several facilities and almost always seemed to be inspired and motivated to achieve bigger and greater things by the nurses I was with. Those were, and are still, the nurses I aspire to be one day. They encouraged me and showed me the real meaning of what a nurse should be like. If all that time I spent in hospitals and time I practiced as a student taught me ANYTHING is that this profession is definitely not for everyone. If someone is doing this for any reason other than caring for others, let me tell you from personal experience, they are here for all the wrong reasons (just like the Bachelor). With that being said, I want to give a little special shoutout to the nurses that inspired me since the beginning (hopefully they read this and know exactly who they are). To Lauren and Zahily, to Paola, my SNP preceptor Jenny, and last but definitely not least, Sofia. I hope and dream to take a little piece of all of you into my practice and could not be more grateful for what you taught me and for being the role model nurses you are. I aspire to make you girls proud one day and can only wish that I become half the nurse you all are.

But wait, where would I be today if it weren’t for the main reason of how I was introduced to this world in the first place? Some may say I might have found my way here eventually. Perhaps that is true, although I highly doubt it. And for that I am well aware that I would not be here if it weren’t for my one, true inspiration. The person I am most thankful for in my life. My first and favorite patient. A great influence as to how, why and who I am today. The reason I became a nurse. She is someone I strive to make proud day in and day out. She is always at the forefront and I would not be the young woman I am today without her. And that person would be: My grandma, mi Abuelita.

Growing up, I learned quickly about all the different medical history she had. I had to, but I know a part of me did so because I wanted to. I wanted to ensure we could help her any way we could. Language barriers at times pose difficulties, not just for my grandma but at times even for my own mom. I educated myself on her diagnoses, her medications, her treatments. I did so because as my mother would say I was the “brain” and her memory, however I did it because it was just an instinct to care & even more so for my own. I know it could not have been easy for my mother to hear what my grandma, her mom, was developing. Some times you get so nervous either you forget or you just cannot get a grasp on the situation. So there I was, behind the scenes. Listening, writing things down, researching. I wanted to help any way I could, especially to someone who never hesitated to be there when I needed her. I would not gain anything from this, except putting my mother at ease and interpreting/explaining everything to them both. I did this unconditionally. I did this because that is what my abuelita taught me, a trait that was well within me. She always told me, “Monique, es mejor dar que recibir. Dios siempre te va a dar lo que necesitas.” To translate she advised me always that it was always better to give to others because when you are going to need it (it being anything, nothing in particular) God will always make sure you receive His blessing.

That always stuck with me. To this day it still has. My grandmother was my own personal angel. Heaven sent from above. It never seemed to fail, she always looked out for me and gave me more than I ever deserved. And without expecting anything, except perhaps my love, in return.

By becoming a nurse, I felt and still feel as though I am honoring her. I attempt to see my abuelita in every patient I come across and care for. At times, patients can make that difficult, but regardless I tend to look at the bigger picture and empathize with them. I believe that it never hurts to be kind and that my kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness for it takes great strength and resilience to remain kind to those that do not deserve it. My grandma is still very much present in my life and I could not thank God any more so for her, her wisdom and unconditional love. I not only carry her in my thoughts, but if you ever see me around the hospital, just know I keep her close to my heart by the stethoscope on me. My first nursing school gift. One I hope to carry with me throughout my career, wherever it takes me. Just as a reminder of why I started in the first place.

So that’s a wrap! I hope you enjoyed this little excerpt of my life! Here’s to my first post of many. Feel free to leave comments or ask any questions! Make sure to subscribe to keep up with me. Thank you for reading. Stay safe, wear your mask, social distance and remember to wash your hands!

Much love,

Monique S.